That's what I was looking for

I had an inkling that it would come to this.

Just got back from the noon celtic service, which is followed by contemplative prayer. It was just wonderful. I feel so good. I really, really need that silence in my life.

No doubt, it will change and make things come up, or provide some other opportunity for me to fail and pick myself up again. But that's all to the good.

It's very odd for me - for years and years, I couldn't stand the idea that I needed to be specific places at specific times, or do certain things every day. It seemed oppressive. Now, it's comforting, and deeply needed. I still don't wear a watch, but organizing my days around stable points seems to really anchor me in the present moment, and help me reset when I get too far afield into stress and anxiety. Getting up at the same time each day (including the weekends). Prayer at regular intervals throughout the day. Working out 5 days a week. Eating food already prepared, and not rushing through a fast food line to get something to just feed my body, and not my soul, like a relaxing lunch or dinner does.

I think, maybe, this is working.